metamorphosis
A Poem
Should never have awakened this morning. Knew when blinding sun hit sky. Past four days fighting, little time to cry. Well, today tears are falling, but how. Funny that it happens now. What once collected, here disperses. Too many choruses, not enough verses. Where did we go wrong? Three years ago, or in our song?
Granted, time heals, yet also wounds. Unexamined souls move across rooms. So also hearts, from inattention. Prison isn’t God’s invention. Traveling along furniture, cheeks wetter. Eating? Can’t, until world fares better. Make up? Play on words. Face still streaming, comically absurd. Television mocks sensible folks. Off, sad box! Such terrible jokes. Melancholy music, falling, sinking. Suicidal, overthinking. Crouching corner, pillows there. Waiting, weeping, nobody cares.
Striking bottom, nothing left, lump of human flesh, bereft. Bloodless cold.
Dark.
Arc. Reverse bell curve. Rising nerve. Nascent courage, feeding things. Tiny drop turning wellspring. Noticing, realizing. Certain growing recognizing. Motion, exercise, stop sitting. Interacting, giving, finally admitting.
Cityscape with sudden surprise. Abruptly facing those steel eyes. Feeling. Two heartbeats later, steeling.
“Partner?”
“No. You?”
“She’s—Yes.”
“Best outcome ever, I guess.”
Nods. “Looking great . . .”
“Thanks. Trying.” Then separate. Expecting knife twisting, finding none. If formerly love, seems presently done. Spent. Enjoy wonderment, content.
Skip toward neighborhood park, river. Plunging right big toe, shiver. Kids’ laughter riding breeze. Wading deeper, covering knees. Thus committed, immerse completely. Forgive. Float sweetly. Seek self-knowledge, smile, court strange. Risk evolving. Embrace change. Washing clean, the broken mends. A new woman born, and old one ends.